Our man Jolie
by EdwardElricLover22
Summary: What if Kira was replaced by my OC Jolie in Our Man Bashir? What if when they restored their patterns, two of them were put back wrong, and Garak and Bashir had had to beamed out as well? What if she didn't want him to know her secret? Bodyswap of a sort.
1. WHAT?

**Summary: **What if Kira was replaced by my OC Jolie in 'Our Man Bashir' and her brother Kyle replaced Sisko? What if when they tried to restore their patterns, two of them were put back wrong? What if because of a holosweet malfunction, Garak and Bashir had had to be beamed out as well? Body-swap, of a sort.

**A/N:** This came to me the other night as I lay in bed unable to sleep and in the morning I wrote it down. I will continue this if you will _**PLEASE REVIEW! **_They give me ultimate charge to write! Please give this story a chance, according to my friend EnviousBakemono, thanks to her help, the later chapters are better. As you have guessed, I have already written some more they just need proofreading. Though if I don't get any reviews, I may loose interest. I could probably update daily depends on how long it takes to edit and how may reviews I get. (The title is an inside joke.)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own star trek DS9 or any of it's characters. I am simply borrowing them for a short time, they will return intact, hopefully.

**Chapter 1: Bashir the Indian Banshee **

"We are losing them!" Came Odo's voice over the loud noise of he transporter failing to re-materialize them.

"Keep trying!" Sisko said in return.

"I've lost one of the brain patterns! It vanished!" Said the Star-fleet chief of security.

"The transporters are failing!" Odo yelled at the other security man.

**Later in sickbay**

My eyes were groggy and refused to open for a short time. Eventually they opened to bright lights above my head. I sat up too quickly, and immediately fell straight back down. That's when I noticed something was wrong.

My eyes flew back open in an instant and took in my surroundings. I was in sickbay, sitting on one of the patient beds. Behind me I herd the voice of Kira.

"You all right?" It wasn't the normal sweet tone she took with me.

"Um, yea." My eyes slowly widened at the voice I heard come from me. I looked down at a site I could never have expected. My hands were larger and darker then my own. That's why I knew they were **not** mine.

They were Bashir's.

"WHAT!" I screamed, shocked at my discovery.

"Calm down Doctor!" Kira tried to stop me from getting up and running in repetitive circles pulling my-, wait no, Bashir's, hair out.

"KIRA!" I yelled at her.

"Julian? What's wrong?" She asked in a concerned voice, not getting it.

"I AM NOT JULIAN!" I screamed at her.

"What? I think you should lie down Doctor." She kept trying to calm me down, but I didn't want to.

"I am telling you, I am not Dr. Bashir!" I spoke clearly and tried to make sure she understood.

"Wait, hang on... if you are not Julian, then who are you?" She asked. Maybe she had finally gotten it.

"I'm Jolie!"

"Jolie? Oh dear...we were afraid of this...."

"You knew this was going to happen!?"

"Well, we weren't sure. Garak and Bashir couldn't get out of the holosuite, so we had to beam them out as well. Because of ongoing repairs, the Defiant could only do one beam out, so we had to beam them with you five."

"What holosuite? Never mind, there are more important things to worry about." I started to go over what she had said.

"Wait, if you had to use the Defiant..... that means the transporters on the station aren't working, and now the Defiant's too, then there is no way to fix this anytime soon."

The horror of what was going on hit me. Not to say I didn't like Julian's body.... I'm just didn't think I was going to like _this_.

But I didn't know the full extent of what was going on.

I herd Julian groan and I searched the sickbay for him. Kira continued to tell me to sit down but I wasn't listening. If I was in him, I wanted to know where he was. I came to the bed in the center of the second room, on it, was my body. The long golden hair spread out. I looked at my somewhat short, skinny body that lay there motionless, lifeless.

"Kira?" I questioned her.

"You're in a coma. There's no brain activity....."

"Then where's Bashir?"

"We think we may have lost him in the transport."

"But I just heard him a minute ago!" Then realization hit me. If I was in his body, how could I have heard his voice, there was only one way.

"Oh no. Kira, I found Bashir." I sat down and placed his hands over his eyes.

"What?"


	2. Figuring things out

Chapter 2

A/N: THANK YOU LUCKY FANNAH! You are my first reviewer and I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart. I also thank you for alerting!

I heard him again. He was confused and disoriented.

'Hello?' He questioned the black that surrounded him. He couldn't see because I had his head in his hands.

'Ummm..... Bashir?' I tried thinking towards him first, just to test it. My theory was confirmed as I herd a reply.

'Hello? Jolie? Where are we?'

I removed his hands from our vision.

'What the? What's going on?!?' He panicked.

I bit his lip, then quickly stopped, I wanted to give him his body back in one piece.

"Kira, there is this really old TV show called Stargate Atlantis. In this show, there was an episode where two people got stuck in a beaming storage device. They only had enough power for one person to be restored, but that one person came with both minds." I think she had understood what I had said, because she then called for Sisko to come down. Julian seemed to understand too.

He was able to hear me if it was either a particularly strong thought or if it was directed towards him.

What if he could hear my thoughts, what if he found out?

Luckily I had been a little paranoid my whole life about the thought of someone reading my mind, so I had become an expert at vague thoughts. I know, I'm crazy, but look how useful it is now.

'Bashir?' He seemed to be still processing what I had said. I let him be, while I tried to give him control.

Sisko appeared in the sickbay entrance.

"Major? I see Dr. Bashir is awake. What seems to be the problem?"

"Sisko, first of all, I am not Bashir. Second, he is here too." I tried a short explanation.

"Here? What do you mean here?." He asked me. I did not feel like going through the same thing with him too so I just pointed to my head.

"May I ask, who you are?"

I was thankful that Kira answered for me.

"It's Jolie, Captain. The civilian we took, because of her negotiating skills."

I was getting a little irritated, that on my first mission, something like this had to happen. I was looking forward to getting home and just reading a good book.

Bashir had all the senses I did, but they were a little numb. Like the feeling you get when you're sleepy and everything seems far away.

For an unknown reason, I was the dominant mind. I had control of everything and no matter how hard I tried, I could not give him control. This forced some rather uncomfortable situations to arise.

Both our minds seemed to sleep separately, so anything awkwark would be taken care of while I was asleep. It was the only time he gained control, but as soon as I woke, he would be back in the back of his own mind. I felt so bad about it all, after all it was his body and I had no right to be the one in control.

I tried to read a book but my mind kept wondering off. I was worried about how my little brother was coping with me not being around.

'You should go talk to him.' Bashir suggested. He had been a bit quiet lately, so his 'thought' startled me.

"I don't want to bother him...." I was talking out-loud because I was in my quarters, as alone as I could be.

"He is probably worried about you" Eyes widened at what had happened. Bashir had spoken. He had actually spoken out-loud. I bound of the armchair we were in, and ran straight down to sickbay.

Julian already knew how to do all the tests himself, so he attempted to guide me through them.

Not very long after, there were 5 broken glasses and a cut on his hand.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

We decided I was too clumsy in his body. Kira was sent to help us with our problem.

She poked, prodded and scanned and I told her what Bashir had to say about everything. This went on for hours until she had finally found out what was going on.

"I believe both of your minds are attempting to take control. It is not a conscious effort, but you should take it easy from now on."

"Take it easy! What have I been trying to do! It's not easy like... this.." I immediately regretted my outburst and sat back down. Kira gave me a sympathetic look before being called back up to Op's.

Bashir was silent, which only made me feel more guilty. I sat their for a long time, with knees against his chest. I was always trying to remind myself that nothing was mine, and that I didn't belong.

Ch 3

She tossed and turned in bed. They had both felt awkward about sleeping in either bed, so they were given guest quarters. Julian had fallen asleep long ago, but she couldn't sleep in the Cardassion rock they called a bed. She was glad that all her shuffling did not wake him. The longer she stayed awake while he was asleep, the longer he would have his own body in the morning.

1 hour later

There where shouts and screams, and growls of an alien. She gripped the sheets tighter, as the heavy padding of feet grew louder. The drunken Klingon revealed itself and ripped her curtain from around her bed.

"What?!" She screamed.

She screamed so high pitched several people in the ship covered their ears.

Miles O'Brien and Jadzia Dax were going over ways to repair the transporters.

"What was that?" Jadzia asked alarmed.

"No idea..." Miles replied wide eyed. The screaming increased.

The Female Klingon ripped the curtains and growled at them. Bashir awoke by this point and they fell out of the bed.

She pointed at the enraged Klingon desperately and threw the glass of water at it, this only made it more enthusiastic.

She didn't know how to fight and this body, hell, she couldn't fight in any body let alone against a Klingon. He wasn't exactly buff either, she glanced down at the scrawny arms.

'I happen to like my body!'

"Sorry." I mumbled to him while running out of our quarters. Hmph. Our quarters. I would have liked to be able to say that, but not like this. I prayed so bad that he had not heard that, and that if he had he dismissed it as something else.

Jadzia and Miles followed the screams and saw Bashir screaming and running away from the Klingon that was violently trying to explain itself.

They both giggled so hard they toppled to the ground having a hysterical laughing fit.

Bashir fought to control his body as Jolie's instincts took over. There was a half strangled sound and Bashir took control again, trying to force Jolie's mind back.

"Calm down!" He ordered to himself, wearily in a low monotone voice.

Jolie took over without realizing.

"But its attac-" Bashir's body said gasping. Tears were flowing down his face.

Bashir stopped and tried to listen to the Klingon, but turned and began to yell.

"What the hell are you doing!" Came Bashir's voice, high pitched again. He ran the opposite direction, stumbling and falling into a heap.

"Stop it!" He yelled to himself. He fought to keep Jolie away from Miles and Jadzia.

He fell to the ground. They watched as he fought with some mysterious force.

"Get me away from it!" The female voice rang. He ran with his hands waving about like a frightened girl. He stopped mid-step and his normal voice returned.

"MY GOD GIRL, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" he yelled, taking force of the body.

They both watched from a distance as Bashir talked to himself, whispering.

They both raised eyebrows as Bashir started to tremble, tears streamed down his face. He started to order himself to stop. He suddenly grabbed Miles' leg.

He stared wide eyed and didn't know what to do as Bashir sobbed into his leg.

All they could do was shake their heads. They thought Bashir had lost it, as he started to run around the room, even the female Klingon now looked confused.

Suddenly Bashir stopped "let me take control!" he bellowed to himself.

"I'm trying." There was a silence, then he cocked his head to the side.

'I can't do it anymore, what happened!' Bashir's voice rang.

"I wasn't me!" Bashir told himself stamping his foot

Jadzia finally put a hand on Bashir's shoulder.

"Julian, are you all right?" She asked concerned and a little wary.

"Jadzia? What is going on?!" Bashir replied dumbly, tears running down his face. Jadzia had a concerned look. Bashir crying over a Klingon, something was not right.

"What's wrong? Is it your sickness?" She asked, hoping he had some alien disease, rather than find that he had lost his mind.

Bashir suddenly squirmed and the real Bashir took control. He remembered that Sisko and Kira had told everyone that they were sick and were not to be disturbed.

Miles laughed.

"What's wrong with you today?" he said, laughing harder.

"Nothing" he lied. He tried to look like he dismissed it all by shaking his head and leaving.

"It looked like you where having a fit" Jadzia said, trying not to laugh.

Bashir grumbled and glared at the Klingon who had been trying her mating rituals. She growled and walked away.

He needed somewhere to have a private talk with Jolie. Bashir lost control again and Jolie walked them back to their quarters.


	3. music and shattering realizations

**A/N:** I am sorry for the LONG wait you all had. (All meaning my two un-believably amazing reviewers.) My laptop's power-supply broke and I couldn't use it for a few weeks. Please R&R!  
I would like to thank my lovely loyal first reviewer Lucky Fannah and my new awesome second reviewer Little Tanuki! (You should check out Little Tanuki's stories, the ones I read were great!)

**Chapter 4**

'You haven't been able to sleep very well have you?' He seemed concerned, but I wasn't inclined to believe him. In truth, we had not been getting on very well.

"Well I was considering trying to sleep to some music." I suggested.

'What kind of music did you have in mind?' He inquired, skeptical.

"Well I was thinking maybe some Cardassian."

"Cardassian! You couldn't fall asleep to Cardassian music if you were wearing Bojoran meditation sonic earplugs!" He began to speak aloud, but I was too busy with my heated discussion to notice.

**Kyle's quarters**

Kyle stared at Bashir, completely baffled by his actions. Bashir stumbled into his quarters, arguing with himself. His voice would be strange, (almost like a girl) on one of the side of the argument.

"I am telling you, Cardassian music has a lulling mood to it." Came the girlish voice.

"If you want lulling you should try Bojoran. It has a calming affect. It has also been proven to be good for health, mental and physical." Bashir's normal voice said in return to himself.

"Bojoran music is way to slow, how could you fall asleep if you are waiting to hear if and when the next note will come!" His high voice began to get aggressive.

Kyle cleared his throat before making a suggestion of his own.

"There are a couple of songs composed by a Cardassian and a Bojoran together. You could try that one Dr. Bashir?" He was wary and wondered if he had snapped, he didn't want to be on his bad side if he had.

We had both turned to stare at Kyle not realizing we had already entered the room. Nor did we realize (till now) that we had both been speaking out loud. I then remembered he still did not know of our situation.

'What do I say Bashir?'

'Well first of all, he does not know that it's you, and second of all, does he know that you're in love with me?' His question caught me completely off-guard so I wasn't careful to check I wasn't speaking rather than thinking

"Know that I'm WHAT!?!"

'Don't patronize me, I can hear some of your thoughts you know.' I racked my brain for what I had let slip, and for any possible excuses. I came up short, so I said this instead.

"WHO SAYS IT WAS YOU I WAS TALKING ABOUT!"

"The 'Oh Julian's' in your sleep tipped me off." I knew that one day my sleep-talking would give me problems. I just wished that it had not been then.

I felt as though my world had cracked apart, as if everything were in pieces. That even if I spent my whole life trying to put them back together, the task would never be complete.

I fell silent and collapsed into one of Kyle's armchairs. That is when I remembered that we were still in his quarters.....

* * *

"Hehehe." I began nervous laughter. Then an idea struck me, on how to get back at Bashir. Anything I did as him would only be on his reputation. I wasn't stupid enough to ruin his career, but I had a pretty good way at ruining any one-night-stand potentials he had.

A/N: Sorry it's a little short, I thought it made a good cliffhanger. The more reviews I get the quicker I will update ^-^! It may just be me, but I'm beginning to like this story, well I had fun writing it anyways.


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